Sunday, July 24, 2011


Been trying to find a way to get the words out right but I have too much to think account about. My mom pissed away Weds and its been hard...really hard. Going to try to go back to work tomorrow to get my mind off of things. I'm angry, sad, frustrated. Ahhhhhhhhh!

Sunday, July 17, 2011

Until Further Notice...

I probably won't be posting as much.  Going through alot of personal issues dealing with my moms health that I'm truly not focused on losing weight or working out. Just really sucks! I have a session with a personal trainer tomorrow that I had been looking forward to but right now, no so much. I never thought last year that the could be a chance I may not have my mother around by the end of this year. I don't have any cliche "cherish your mother or father..."quotes because I don't have any regrets regarding that, I'm just upset by the whole thing. But that's enough of that next time I'll be back with my personal trainer session updates. Lol this shall be interesting.

Wednesday, July 13, 2011


Tough week. Hanging I there but its been tough. My mother has been in the hospital since Tuesday after going through tests after tests dealing with cancer. I'll be moving to another city in two months and now I'm not so sure about it with her getting worst but I can't stop living . I've been trying to get out of here since I moved here at 16 and this is a good opportunity for me to break out of my comfort zone. I need this.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Not My 1st Time Around

So this isn't my first time at the rodeo when it comes to this weight loss thing. Nope! In 2007/2008 I lost 67 pounds, going from 235 to 168 through cardio, strength training, and eating whatever I wanted. Subsequently, I gained it all back plus some after my two hour gym routine stopped when I was in a car accident Fall 2008.  My weight skyrocketed to my all time high of 242.3 and being honest that was the weight I decided to make a change but I believe I hit 250 at some point. Eating everything, no exercise, clothes fitting tight, I was just uncomfortable. Yet still I didn't get serious about my weight loss until January of this year. I think alot of it contributed to not having support around me (which I didn't have before so I don't know why I expected this time), I had a buddy that was suppose to be doing this with me but she basically encouraged me to eat so I could be as big as she was. Ok so maybe it wasn't intentional but it felt that way. Thankfully I wised up and I left her behind along with the rest of my behind, ha! So that brings us to today I an now down to 189.2 (yay me!) But I'm noticing this time around the weight is coming off differently. I can wear clothes at this weight that I couldn't wear until I hit the 170's now (which of all good and dandy), BUT I have more back fat than I did when I was my current weight before, an d also more flab instead of muscle. Which of what I ultimately want...toned arms, muscular/toned legs, smaller tummy (momma has given up on a six pack years ago), just a lean look. Which I'm not getting through diet and cardio. I'm looking like a weight watcher girl (no offense to those that use WW). But I tend to see alot of WW ppl with flabby skin bc they focus on mainly diet with no/little exercise to lose weight hence the flabby skin. And I don't want to look like that, I don't want to be skinny fat. I want to be fit goshdammit! So I've decided to change my routine and add a mandatory 3 strength training sessions a week with my cardio routine. Time to build some muscle and I hope it works.

Here's a picture of me as of yesterday. I'm feeling better about my body but the pictures let me know I have a long way to go. 

Oh yeah my new goal is 160 (not sure if I mentioned it here but before it was 140). I know what that BMI chart says but I remember feeling great at 168 for the short time it lasted. But who knows if I don't feel that way this time around I'll just lower it.

Until then au revoir! Off to Zumba and maybe yoga :-)

Thursday, July 7, 2011

Yay Me!

Well today after 4 years of waiting I finally got a promotion! Yay me! I wasn't sure how my interview went...when I think is good, it wasn't good enough and apparently when I think its bad I get it? Either or I'll be moving back to my hometown and I'm excited. I mad a goal to leave this city when my lease is up and I reached it. So excited! :-) On food news I haven't been doing so great but I did manage to eat really well...ok fairly decent the past two days. SN: You won't gain five pounds by having one bad day *end* I've managed to maintain my weight and not get out of control, so I'm proud of that. I've only worked out two times since last Weds too. I need to get back on the ball. I should be at 170 by now but my weight loss is going much slower than I anticipated and its my own fault as opposed to me trying hard and it just not coming off. But as they say que sera que sera. My  final goal has went up also. Mmmh I will keep pushing!